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Final Fantasies 1 and 2 are now available for download in the app store for the steep price (for iPod/iPhone, at least) of $8.99. That’s not $8.99 for a package deal either. You’re going to pay close to $20 after tax if you want to enjoy both games from the convenience of your phone.

The games are a port of the PSP versions of the game. Except that it’s more choppy on the iPhone/iPod if the reviews are any indication. And Square-Enix cut out all of the cutscenes that provided a little value-added for gamers who bought the PSP version. And the controls aren’t nearly as intuitive since they’ve had to graft a touch screen interface onto games that were originally designed for a blocky NES controller.

And you have to ask yourself a simple question: “Do I really need another port of the original Final Fantasies?” I can see some of the excitement when Final Fantasy 2 finally came to the U.S. (legally) for the first time, but at this point these games have been repackaged and re-released so many times that I wouldn’t be surprised to find there’s a version available for my toaster that utilizes revolutionary new crumb processing to generate the graphics and convection current manipulation to move the characters.

Final Fantasy has 4.5 stars so far while Final Fantasy 2 has surpassed that to sit at a solid 5 stars after a few dozen reviews apiece, but don’t let that fool you. Most of the reviews boil down to “Wow! Final Fantasy on my iPhone! I’m so desperate for anything approaching a recognizable video game at this point that I will grasp and inflate the rating of anything that comes close to replicating the experience of a real portable gaming system!”

I’m paraphrasing. Slightly. But sheer amazement that a particular game is available on a platform is not a good reason to go out and spend your hard-earned money on said game.  Don’t be that guy or girl. If you absolutely must buy Final Fantasies 1 and 2 then there are far better versions out there.

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There are still people out there who swear that Final Fantasy VII is the greatest installment in the series.  I always thought that the game’s popularity was mostly due to a perfect storm of new technology that saw FF7 become the first sprawling next-gen 3D RPG at a time when the Internet was starting to make its way into the fringes of the mainstream.

Of course in retrospect the game just doesn’t hold up all that well.  The plot is nigh incomprehensible thanks to bad writing and a poor translation.  The art design is spotty at best, and the Full Motion Video that was so revolutionary at the time barely compares favorably with what the DS or the PSP puts out as a matter of course today.

Anyways, all of that pontificating about Final Fantasy VII has nothing to do with the content of this post.  Really I’m looking for an excuse to test out embedded video with the new site layout, so above is a video of the opening scenes of FF7 rendered in 8-bit graphics that look like they owe more to PC graphics of the early ’90s than the NES.  But the NES is what most gamers remember, so it’s the system getting the credit in the linkstorm.  Enjoy!

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I’ve been trying to get into the Final Fantasy IV remake for the DS, I really have, but did they have to make all of the characters look like medieval bobblehead dolls?  I’m not against revamping graphics on an old game as long as it improves the overall presentation, but I’m only about twenty minutes in and already the character design is driving me to distraction.  Perhaps I’m picking at nits, but it’s difficult to develop any sir of emotional investment in characters when they look like they would be more at home on the dashboard of a late 70s Firebird.

Not to mention that everyone looks and sounds like barely pubescent teenagers.  When I played the 16-bit version of Final Fantasy IV I had a mental image of Cecil as a grizzled and battle hardened commander grown weary of the world after one battle too many in the service of a king he no longer trusted.  The voice acting and character design has transformed him into the same androgynous pretty boy protagonist who is barely old enough to vote, let alone have a distinguished military career, that we’ve come to know and despise from the good folks at Squeenix.

Honestly, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to see Tellah reimagined as a rebellious “old” twenty-something with an androgynous voice and plenty of Xtreme attitude.  I’m going to power through to see if the game remains compelling enough after all these years to make character design inconsequential, but at this point i’m starting to seriously wonder if hitting my mid-20s (which would qualify me for a senior citizen discount in most Final Fantasy settings) also means I’ve thoroughly aged out of Squeenix’s target demographic.

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Having recently acquired a copy of Final Fantasy 11 and all current expansions for the 360 I decided that since I lack a computer capable of satisfying the craving for an MMO I would give FFXI a shot. I played it briefly back when it first came out on the PS2, but haven’t given it a second thought since then. It wasn’t very long until I realized why — the only option one has for a subscription to Final Fantasy 11 is to pay by credit card. They don’t accept PayPal and don’t offer subscription cards like World of Warcraft does, meaning the barrier for entry compared to something like WoW is higher.

But a good friend of mine scrounged up a link for a trial account to the game, and after sitting through a 70 minute install and then a 5 hour update process, I was ready to go.

Deciding to do what I generally do best in MMOs, I quickly rolled a TaruTaru White Mage and set off on my journey to become the most badass healer on the Siren server. The character creation is minimal — choose your race, gender, and then you are given  a few facial expressions to choose from, and a few preset hair styles/colors.

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